Chinese New Year and Personal Lamentations

The 21st edition of my Chinese New Year celebrations beckons like the waving hand of the prosperity cat.

Like the previous 20 episodes, staples such as over-dressed cum heavily made up aunties, too shy for a handshake kids, new babies that wern't there the year before, ever-morphing and BF/GF updating cousins that materialize only during that particular day (or in my case two) of visiting, my auntie's fabulous pineapple tarts and of course the exchange money in the form of gold-embossed, A5 size envelopes, will all star in this year's show.

I told myself (and embarassingly a number of others) that I wanted to be famous when I grew up. Well it sure looks like my picture frame on the Singapore Walk-of-fame (a dubious but glorious amalgation of different achievements, from Tony Tan to Annabel Chong) won't arrive in time for Chinese New Year Version 21 unless I turn up on the receiving end of a localized sex tape scandal (not to harp on the Malaysian furore but that's realistically how to get the attention of the entire nation within a week).

Being famous is a privelege (serious), I was at Suntec's Food Court on a Saturday afternoon after training when suddenly, the entire table of macho-laughing and swaggering dragonboaters started nudging each other and talking in hushed urgent tones, pointing, their quivering, excited fingers as though, at some rare bird that would fly away. Through the rasps and breaths, I heard Felicia...Chin...

Well the VJC alumnus was having lunch with Melody Chen. It was amusing to see the uncle's reaction at the mixed vegetables stall sweetie-pie Chin patronized. He glanced at her for a while, realised who she was, rubbed his hands together and put on his idea of a camera-friendly grin, not unlike that of KFC's Colonel Sanders. After handing her the plate of food (laden to the brim I'm sure),he proceeded to collect payment and then look nochanlant, as though nothing had happened.

He'd probably have given her an "ang-pow" too had he one. Too bad he didn't and the realization that he missed his 5 mintes of fame probably wiped the smile from his face for the rest of the day.

I realised a long time ago when I was still a pimply stork, that the amount of money given by our parents via the pretty red packets is usually the same as what others hand smilingly to us, thus in theory, breaking even. My parents found a substantial way to counter the obligatory money exchange and even make a profit margin a little thicker than a standard slice of cheddar cheese. Have more kids. They had three the last time I counted. Good enough to get an extra packet or two from the two-kidders and less!

Speaking of brother and sister dearest. Both are happily attached. Sister's boyfriend is great seriously. Besides being from my alumus Temasek Polytechnic, the dude has no qualms about me hitching a gooseberry ride on his Nissan Cefiro every Sunday night back to NTU with my sister happily clutching his free hand at the front seats, oblivious to her brother's stares from the back. Damn automatic cars that allow the gear hand to be free. This is not good. A free hand can do many things (go imagine) and endanger other road users when a gentle tug or squeeze on the appropriate part of the human anatomy goes awry. Younger brother's love affair is another story. The girl makes him spend too much family money. We have since passed judgement on her. Enough said.

Aside from freshy manufactured babies, 2008 hair styles in in-season colours emblazoned on the head of heavily made-up tai-tai's, the decrease in quantity of auntie's fabulous (yes, I just have to say it again) pineapple tarts due to the darstedly 50% increase in local flour prices and Hall 16's very first lion dance performance cum Chinese New Year feast, I take comfort in knowing that like the past 20 editions, issue 21, will more or less be the same predictable affair.

And of course, what is Chinese New Year without the all time favourite question, consistent since I started sprouting my not-so-Chinese facial hairs at 16: "Aviel boy! Got girlfriend already not?!" "No."